It seems like just yesterday that Huntress made a name for themselves, and now here they are, about to tour with power metal veterans Dragonforce again, seemingly determined to make themselves a household name. Their debut album Spell Eater came out less than two months ago, and the band has been on a touring rampage to promote the album and get the word out that they mean business. “We are thrilled to have the opportunity to travel through Europe,” said the band in an official statement. “Spread it, shred it, behead it!”
Supporting Huntress and Dragonforce is German sleaze rock band Kissin’ Dynamite. Tour dates are below (I apologize to my American readers for leaving the dates in European format, but this news is mostly for Europeans after all!):
09.10.12 NL – Tilburg / 013
10.10.12 BE – Antwerp / Trix Ball
12.10.12 DE – Hannover / Capitol
13.10.12 DE – Cologne / Live Music Hall
14.10.12 DK – Copenhagen / Amanger Bio
15.10.12 NO – Oslo / Rockefeller
16.10.12 SE – Stockholm / Tyrol
18.10.12 FI – Seinajoki / Rymikorjaamo
19.10.12 FI – Helsinki / Nosturi
22.10.12 SE – Gothenburg / Brewhouse
23.10.12 DK – Arhus / Train
24.10.12 DE – Hamburg / Markthalle
30.10.12 DE – Munich / Backstage
31.10.12 DE – Berlin / Postbahnhof
01.11.12 DE – Dresden / Reithalle
02.11.12 DE – Erfurt / HsD
03.11.12 DE – Bochum / Zeche
05.11.12 DE – Frankfurt / Batschkapp
06.11.12 AT – Vienna / Szene
07.11.12 CH – Zurich / Komplex
09.11.12 IT – Florence / Viper Theatre
10.11.12 IT – Treviso / New Age Club
11.11.12 IT – Milano / Alcatraz
12.11.12 CH – Solothurn / Kofmehl
15.11.12 ES – Barcelona / Salamandra 1
16.11.12 PT – Lisbon / Cine-Teatro de Corroios
17.11.12 ES – Madrid / Sala Arena
18.11.12 ES – Bilbao / Rock Star Live
21.11.12 FR – Bordeaux / Rock School Barbey
22.11.12 FR – Paris / La Cigale
23.11.12 FR – Strasbourg / La Laiterie
24.11.12 FR – Lille / Le Splendid
26.11.12 NL – Amsterdam / Melkweg Max
The other day, I was talking to a friend of mine about our musical guilty pleasures. Now, I don’t really believe in feeling guilty about liking something harmless, so I have to come up with guilty pleasures in a roundabout, detached sort of way. I have no qualms sharing with all of you that I sang Hanson’s “I Will Come To You” without looking at any of the words during karaoke on my 21st birthday. Hell, I sing Alanis Morrisette’s “Head Over Feet” just about every time I jump in the shower. Most of my “guilty pleasures” are ’90s radio rock and pop songs, but whenever I go to my favorite metal hangout (Duff’s Brooklyn — they deserve a plug), I usually fall in love with a hair/glam song or two. Without further ado, here are my very guiltiest metal pleasures — please don’t judge me (okay, you can judge me, but ONLY in the comments section)!
10. Oh Sleeper, “Endseekers”
A sentence I never thought I’d say: this Christian metalcore song is kind of awesome. “Endseekers” goes almost completely against what I look for in a metal song, but I can’t help but love it.
9. Scar Symmetry, “Prism And Gate”
Vocals in registers only a dog can hear? Sign me up! I’m not even sure what subgenre this song is, and I have to admit it’s a bit of a musical mess, but I sing along with the chorus every time…a couple of octaves down, of course.
8. Megadeth, “Family Tree”
Yes, “Family Tree” is from Youthanasia, Megadeth’s well-loved 1994 release. It’s still a song about child molestation. This might be the only song on the list that I ACTUALLY feel guilty about enjoying.
7. Hammerfall, “Any Means Necessary”
The only reason “Any Means Necessary” is so low on the list is because I feel like I’m cheating by throwing in classic power metal cheesery. There’s nothing exceptionally insane about this one, it’s pretty straightforward for the genre and just a whole lot of silly fun.
6. Helloween, “Mr. Torture”
I know it seems like I’m contradicting myself considering what I said about #7, but the ridiculous lyrics put this song a little higher on the list. “Dial 1-800-mr-torture?” First of all, you couldn’t dial that number even if you wanted to — there are too many numbers. Second of all, the idea of a hotline that you can call for the express purpose of being tortured (and that Spaniard housewives are apparently its most frequent callers) is completely hilarious to me.
5. Motley Crue, “Dr. Feelgood”
Oh sweet, sweet glam, how I adore thee. How I wish I had been born about a decade earlier so I’d have an excuse to love you like I do! Thank you VH1 Classic, for introducing the newer generations to cheese only the ’80s could possibly generate! I may be going out on a limb here, but I’m fairly sure “Dr. Feelgood” is the best ode to doing a bunch of drugs the ’80s had to offer. Don’t quote me on that though, I hear there are a whole lot of them.
4. Metallica, “No Leaf Clover”
I do not exaggerate when I say that when I first heard this song on the radio (at the age of 12, mind you), it blew my mind completely. I was a wee little band nerd as well as a budding metalhead, and the idea of combining orchestra instruments with metal was too awesome to bear for someone who had never encountered folk metal in their short life. Nowadays, I understand how reviled post-Black Album Metallica are, but I will never not have a soft spot in my heart for “No Leaf Clover.”
3. Poison, “Talk Dirty To Me”
Once upon a time, “Talk Dirty To Me” was my white whale. I’d hear it in grocery stores, I’d hear it at the bar, I’d be walking down the street and hear it in someone’s car. Of course, I never heard enough of the lyrics to Google it from my phone or anything like that, so I was doomed never to gain the ability to listen to it on YouTube. Eventually, my friends and I watched Hot Tub Time Machine (in which one of the main characters goes to a 1986 Poison concert), and the rest was history. When I was a little girl and people told me I had an old soul, I think that my unwavering love of cheesy ’80s rock/metal might have been what they were talking about.
2. Avenged Sevenfold, “Strength Of The World”
Ooooooh, where do I begin? More than nine minutes of whiny vocals, unimaginative guitar wankery, nearly no musical progression, and I love it somehow. Lead singer Zacky Vengeance had some sort of throat problem, so he changed his vocal style from deathy growls to whatever this is. It’s horrible, I will concede, but I love this song. I can not explain myself, nor will I defend myself. I will merely hang my head in shame. (I like “Bat Country” too — oh, the horror!)
1. Dragonforce, “Trail Of Broken Hearts”
Equal parts maudlin and nonsensical, “Trail Of Broken Hearts” really fires on all guilty pleasure cylinders. While I understand that “power metal ballad” is practically synonymous with “more cheese than an extra-large Brooklyn pizza,” there’s something about this song that really brings it over the top…even more so. And by “something,” I mean “everything.” I can’t pin down just one or two or even a bunch of individual aspects of “Trail Of Broken Hearts” that make it my #1 guilty pleasure — you’ll just have to listen for yourself.
As always, input is more than welcome. Guilty pleasures are awesome, and I need an excuse to sit around clicking YouTubes all day, so comment away with your favorite so-bad-it’s-good tracks!
Once upon a time, a metalhead dudely friend of mine asked me about HearEvil, and I graciously told him what we were all about. I told him about our lady-centered content as well as our more gender-neutral stuff, and made it quite clear that while we appreciate non-female readership, we cater to women and women only. He seemed supportive buut a bit nonplussed by the concept.
In an attempt to put him at ease (and avoid losing him as a potential reader, I’ll admit), I joked, “But it’s not like we write about tampons or periods or anything.” I gave an awkward chuckle, and he visibly relaxed.
“Good,” he breathed, finally satisfied with his understanding of the website. He hesitated a bit before adding, “Um, please don’t write about periods.”
You read that correctly, ladies. A man told me, a woman, albeit politely, what not to write to my female audience. Oh heeeeeeell no, I imagine you all saying as you join me in wrinkling your nose at him.
What is the big deal about blood anyway? It’s been a theme in almost every genre of metal since metal was born. It has inspired the names of some of our favorite bands (Bonded By Blood, Bloodbound, Devil’s Blood, Blood Ceremony…) and a ton of our favorite songs (Bonded By Blood [again], Blood Of The Nations, Blood And Iron, Blood Of Heroes…). Hell, Watain incorporate pig’s blood into their act at every venue that allows them to do so. Why, then, is blood fine to talk about when it’s spurting out of some poor sap’s meat-hooked anal cavity but suddenly too gross to mention when it’s naturally and delicately trickling (or profusely gushing, as is often the case with me) out of a vagina?
Periods are metal as fuck, as another metalhead feminist has so eloquently written. For most women, at least one period day a month makes us feel like a human-sized fire golem is attempting to escape our body by punching a hole through our pelvis. Some of us vomit until our throats are raw, some of us shit acid — we go through absolute hell, but all of us survive another month to tell our tale of woe. Tell me that doesn’t sound like the thesis statement of your average power metal song (“Day after day this misery must go on,” anyone?). Don’t even get me started on black metal’s anguished howls — who among us hasn’t wanted to let out a Ville Sorvali-esque yell to the heavens to make the pain go away? Menstruation is beyond brutal, people.
It is BECAUSE menstruation is brutal that I say we should embrace it. It is BECAUSE menstruation is brutal — too brutal for a metalhead dude to stand thinking about even! — that I write about it. There is nothing more metal than grossing people out and challenging norms, so I invite you all to tell your brutalest, heaviest, most metal period story in the comments section below. I’ll start: One time, I had such bad period cramps that I had to lie in bed, turn my head, and puke into a plastic bag, and when the pain finally went away, I thought that I had died. Your turn.
Once upon a time, there was a talented deviantArtist by the handle of LusoSkav who knew everything there was to know about the metal scene. He used his abilities to draw caricatures depicting every kind of metalhead he’d encountered. Many metalheads from all walks of life delighted in the humorous drawings. After all, LusoSkav had drawn death metal fans, folk metal fans, power metal fans, and…girls, to name a few, so it was difficult to find someone that couldn’t see a little of themselves in at least one of the depictions. However, the women who saw them couldn’t help but feel insulted — initially because they’d been almost completely left out of the fun, but also because it felt like their caricatures hadn’t quite been as good-natured as the ones of the men. The following is their lament, from the point of view of one person — me.
So, ladies, how does it feel knowing that there are only two female metalhead stereotypes? Kind of shitty, huh? Well, how about the fact that neither female metalhead stereotype is actually even a metalhead? Even worse, eh?? The “Metal GRRRL” and “Trophy Metal Girl” (grown metalhead women don’t exist at all, evidently) are essentially two sides of the same misogynistic coin. If you’re a “Metal GRRRL,” you only like bands (or maybe even just a single band) fronted by ladies, you take pride in normal metalhead skills that you actually lack (unbeknownst to you — tee hee, isn’t it funny how women are clueless and guys are only humoring them?), and you’re out of touch with your inner femininity. If you’re a “Trophy Metal Girl,” you stand around looking cute for your boyfriend and might not even REALLY be a fan (because goodness knows attractive women are physically incapable of liking metal if a man isn’t making them listen to it). Ladies, do either of these types sound like anyone you know/willingly associate with? Of the 20 points made between both pictures, only five of them aren’t blatantly misogynistic. Of course, those five points are so generic that they aren’t really funny either, so it’s impossible to get even a mild chuckle out of either picture.
The worst part? The other images in the series that LusoSkav drew are actually pretty funny. As someone who attended Paganfest every time it came to the US, I laughed heartily at the folk/Viking metaller‘s “Nordic-er than thou” and “leather bracers nearly mandatory” blurbs. What thrash fan WOULDN’T guffaw at Mainstreamallica‘s “only sings along on ‘Nothing Else Matters’…gets confused and frightened when ‘Battery’ comes on?” Despite the fact that I’m a woman, the Thrasher fits me to a tee, especially in the “being a minority” and “90% chance of being wasted” areas. Taken at face value, both woman-related images aren’t even necessarily terrible, they’re more unimaginative and boring than anything. I suppose our deviantArtist didn’t realize that women who actually enjoy multiple kinds of metal exist, which is really a pity because if he’d made female equivalents for each subgenre, I probably wouldn’t have even called him out on his misogyny. I can see it now: Power Metal Woman (literally never stops moving, will explain at length why Dragonforce is the worst band ever…), Folk Metal Mistress (owns at least one leather skirt, wears elaborate makeup/facepaint even when not at shows…), Black Metal Lady (hair is at least waist-length, never ever speaks…), and the list goes on. If you’ve gone to enough shows (and pulled your head out of your ass), you’ll probably find it pretty easy to make funny, lady-friendly versions of LusoSkav’s images yourself.
What sorts of female metalhead stereotypes have you come across in your travels? We’ve all known our share of killjoys of all genders, but please don’t flat-out identify specific people or get overly inflammatory/slut-shamey/misogynist/disrespectful.
As if it wasn’t good enough news that Paganfest, a much-celebrated folk/Viking metal fest, is coming back to the United States after passing the US over in 2011, Turisas has put the icing on the cake by announcing that they will headline Paganfest 2012! Turisas has been at the forefront of folk metal for almost a decade and participated in the first North American Paganfest tour in 2008 along with Eluveitie, Týr, and Finntroll. This time around, the supporting bands will be Alestorm, Ex Deo, Arkona, and Huntress.